I'm feeling like leaving.

 I arrived to China in 2019. It was around 4:00 pm of a November 16th. What I remember the most was the playfulness of my mind during the last hours of my flight. My hands played with the buttons of the screen in front of my seat; sometimes this monitor will only show me white or gray clouds but from time to time I would be amazed by brown and green fields. 

My boss picked me up at the airport and I just remember to feel so safe once I heard someone calling my name. However, I felt the safest when meeting a friend who could speak my own language. I hugged her and thank God I could listen someone speaking Spanish after maybe 2 days of listening everyone speaking either in English or Chinese. 

Almost two years now. Funny thing, I love the way I live in China but I feel like packing now even though I must still wait 4 months now. I really feel like leaving now. I succeeded. I ticked all my to-do's from 2020. 

What did I gain?

  • I have learnt to live alone and enjoy myself. I have learnt what kind of people I like to be friends with. I have learnt I still need to be better at my job. 
  • The role of a follower. I have to admit that China is such a great country because of its people capability to follow their leaders. Colombia can't do that because everyone wants to be a leader without being first a follower. 

What did I lose?

  • My love and hope in Colombia. Every place I visited in China was immediately compared to what I knew from Colombia. When in Colombia I will be comparing it to the many things I did in China. 
  • Time. Pandemic restrictions in China are tighter which made most of us foreigners to stay at home. I can tell you funny stories of people getting scared when seeing me because according to popular knowledge the outsiders are the ones spreading the virus throughout China. 

What will happen next?

  • I just know I won't stay long in Colombia. Suddenly the places feel not like countries but like other planets. the word 'alien' has reached a new meaning to me. 
I still have 4 months to go to Colombia. I already want to buy souvenirs and pack my bags. I feel happy living in China but I want to be in Colombia and find my new purposes to leave Colombia again. I feel like leaving Colombia again. 

Location: Xi'an, Shaanxi, China

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